That Anger That Pain (Part II): A Poem About Hearts That Yearn and Lives Unseen

There's a continuation to every wound. The first wave of pain is acute. But what follows — the questions, the patterns, the desperate need to be understood — can last much longer. This poem goes into that second territory.

The Poem: It Dawned on Me Many Moons Ago

It dawned on me

Many moons ago

That anger, that pain...

Is nothing more than saying

Where did my child go?

Why do hearts yearn

For those who cause

That anger, that pain...

Why do we bathe in water

That doesn't make us clean?

We're so desperate to be seen

To be heard

From that anger, that pain...

To show that one individual

We're doing fine from a visual

That does not represent

Our lives; that anger, that pain...

Where Did My Child Go? The Source of Adult Pain

So much adult pain is rooted in the child we used to be and what that child needed and didn't receive. Therapists call this the wounded inner child. The experiences of our earliest years shape the architecture of our emotional lives in ways that continue showing up decades later.

Why Hearts Yearn for Those Who Cause Pain

Why do we keep reaching for the people or situations that hurt us? The answer involves attachment theory, familiarity, and a deep hope that this time the outcome will be different. "Why do we bathe in water / That doesn't make us clean?" — we return to the source of our pain hoping it will heal us, not understanding that the water was never clean. Real healing requires different water.

The Performance of Being Fine

"To show that one individual / We're doing fine from a visual / That does not represent / Our lives" — there's one person. One audience for the performance. We curate a visual that says "I'm fine without you" or "I'm succeeding despite you." And meanwhile the actual life, with all its anger and pain, goes unwitnessed. The poem ends where it began: that anger, that pain. They don't go away on their own. They need to be seen — by us first, and then by someone safe enough to share them with. That's where healing actually starts.